Why the Royal Baby is a big f*cking deal
First of all, unless you’re a pregnant teenager, you should be happy when people have babies (and even the pregnant teens seem to find it amusing after a while). If someone came up to you while you or your lady was pregnant and said, “WOW THAT’S SO STUPID YOU’RE HAVING A BABY, I REALLY DON’T CARE!” Your feelings would probably get hurt. It’s a really cool thing, to procreate. The process is awesome, and the outcome is enjoyable. Don’t hate on people who have babies, it’s not nice.
But despite the fact that women everywhere have children and don’t get any hype about it, the Royal Baby is special whether you like it or not. Why? BECAUSE IT’S HEIR TO THE THRONE OF A COUNTRY. That’s kind of a big deal. I’m sorry your baby didn’t make the cut but let’s celebrate because the Brits are one of the few people in this world who appreciate the art and upholding of tradition.
People said the same thing about the Royal Wedding, that it wasn’t a big deal, who cares? You should care because you are a person of this world and things happen in it. Just like you should care about the Zimmerman/Martin case. And gun control. And Kanye West’s newest album. You should form opinions about these things because saying you don’t care means you are too self-absorbed to understand what is going around you.
This is an exciting time because back in the day, royalty used to get married and pop out kids every month. Now because the laws of marriage, dating and love have changed, it doesn’t happen so often. So when it does, it’s okay to get excited. It’s okay to troll your Twitter feed during work in hopes that you might be the first to hear the news, and it’s okay to cry hysterically when you see a photo of the royal family for the first time together. These are happy things, and when there is so much tragedy in the world (just look at the shitstorm that was Prince Charles and Princess Diana’s marriage…), it’s okay to get giddy and feel good for a bit.
Because tomorrow, the Royal Baby’s birth will be overshadowed by some other event, and we’ll all go back to the miserable, depressing things news media likes to showcase.
People need to lighten up. People need to get a sense of humor and understand that yes, there are more important things to life that your own depressive state. Obsessed with all things British? Let’s grab a cup of tea and go insane. Not so into the idea? Take the opportunity to make fun of it (popular baby names include “Joffrey”), but please, don’t be an asshole. Just because these people are richer, and prettier, and more famous than you, doesn’t give you the right to be a bully.
Meanwhile, check out this playlist I made (both heartfelt, and satirical songs included).